Why women hire sex workers.

CW: I’m using women and men to identify the genders of my clientele as my trans and non-binary clientele have different considerations and issues than written below. I am therefore talking about cis-men and cis-women in this text but it doesn’t mean I am forgetting about my queer folks, I am just not talking about you in this writing

I’ve been lucky enough to have a few women clients during my career as a sex worker in Montreal. It’s quite a privilege because, as you would guess, women are quite rare clients in the sex work industry. Usually, if we have a woman client, it will be part of a couple that wants a unicorn to spice things up in their bedroom. As couples are still not our biggest clientele, they are still more common than solo women (sex work is usually aimed at men clients). I’ve been attracting jealousy with my popularity with women from my colleagues. To be frank, I still cannot shut up about it so I get where those side-eyes come from. I never EVER brag about how many clients I had, especially as I know how it can be rough to reach both ends for providers and rubbing your success in the face of marginalized people is inconsiderate. Except for women. If I had a woman client, I would scream about it (SCREAM) on the rooftops of any platform I could have access to. Sorry about that, fellow sex workers.

The question that arises every time I talk about that clientele is tirelessly always the same: why?

Why would women out of all people pay for sex? Aren’t they supposed to have it easy and have sex with anybody they want? Ha-ha, that’s cute!

Many women clients I’ve spoken tell me they are hiring providers mainly for safety reasons but most of them tell me that their decision was based on their need to just being taken care of. Being taken care of without having to think about the pleasure of their partner, without having to agree to practices that made them uncomfortable and being the ‘’boss’’ in the bedroom. I’ve also had women who wanted to experiment with same-sex intercourse but were not comfortable engaging with a civie (non-sex worker) or starting a relationship with another woman without knowing for sure that’s something they’d like. Here is a list of some advantages for women to hire a professional:

Your needs are a priority

The woman client is… a client! As such, the professional job is to make them happy within the boundaries established by both parties. It might be a generalization, but a lot of heterosexual intercourse finish when the man has an orgasm and too bad if the woman didn’t. In lesbian intercourse, sometimes both women are too shy or too concentrated to the pleasure of the other person to really enjoy themselves. When you hire a professional, they are paid to make you feel good. They are used to make you feel comfortable with your body, with your sensuality and your sexuality. They also know activities and some toys you could only dream of!

Safety

You never know who the person you meet is, really. Like who they are deep inside. We don’t want to become paranoid but as women we need to be careful with whom we are intimate, unfortunately. With a well-reviewed sex worker, you can be safe that this person will never stalk you or insist on doing unsafe practices. After all, it is their job and their business image that is at play anytime they meet a client. Nowadays, sex workers have twitters so it’s easier to do your research and find someone that you feel comfortable with (personality and ‘’fame’’ wise). Providers often have a clean place to receive you so you don’t even need to let them inside your house or let them know where you live.

Tips for clients safety: Look at the number of followers the person has and if they interact a lot with other sex workers. Do they have pictures with other sex workers? How long has their profile been up? Those are quite telling on the realness of the person you want to contact.

Consent

You decide how long, where and when the sex is happening. You can even book a social date prior your session to see if that’s a good fit. Providers talk generally about their limits and their likes at the beginning of a session. It’s necessary for their safety after all! This clear list of dos and don’t make it easier to respect each other’s consent and boundaries for the entirety of the appointment.

Editorial: Why I Love Women Clients

Each time I’ve met with a woman client, I was under the impression our meeting was significant in their lives. Either I was the first woman with whom they had intercourse, either they tried something new with me that would change their sexuality in the future. This is exactly why I do this job: I want to impact positively the sexuality of my fellow humans. I’ve been creating beautiful things with my women clients and sometimes we ended up creating meaningful relationships.

If you are a woman reading this, have you ever considered hiring a professional? Why or why not?

Written by

Feminist sex worker based in Montreal. Writes about sex work, sexuality and related subjects.

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